Deep thoughts, cute shoes

In Praise of Boys

First off, you should know the truth: I wanted a girl.

Of course, as every mother does, I hoped more than anything for a healthy baby. But during my pregnancy, visions of pink lacy canopy beds, Wedding Day Barbie, feather boas and dress-up shoes danced in my head. I pictured us wearing elegant matching black velvet dresses at Christmas. I thought about my obsession with horses as a little girl, and contemplated buying a pony in the future. I prowled the aisles of department stores looking at leotards, headbands, and those precious little black patent leather shoes.

My two nieces, along with my sister, made no secret of that fact they wanted a girl to  complete our girlie pajama party. Even when the sonogram said boy, my sister didn’t give up hope. “It’s still so early,” she’d insist. “They can’t possibly know for sure!” Four months later, defying her fervent wish, I brought home a bouncing nine-pound baby boy. I had no idea what to do with him.

Now, almost three years later, my tranquil home has been permanently invaded by raging testosterone. A matchbox car has found a cozy home in my office’s tabletop fountain. Monster trucks and bulldozers fight for highway space in my hallway. Thomas the Tank Engine, along with a half-dozen of his best buddies, makes tracks up and down my coffee table.

As the cliché goes, my son is all boy. His favorite word is “crash.” He can spot a choo-choo a mile away. Wheels of any kind fascinate him. Activities like drawing, coloring and fingerpainting that keep little girls busy for hours hold no interest for him….he’s gotta keep moving on.

He never walks anywhere; he runs. If it’s higher than two feet tall, he must climb it. If it has a hole, he must crawl in it. If it can make noise, he must make it. His favorite activity is throwing rocks in any kind of water, followed closely by plugging up the water fountain with sand. Once when I put him down for a nap, I peeked in to check on him and found him jumping off the dresser. Mysterious sounds of moving furniture regularly awake me in the morning

Thanks to him, I now view the world in a radically different way. Last week I was stuck in traffic as a long freight train chugged past. At one time I would have cursed my bad luck. But now, all I could think of was my disappointment that my son wasn’t in the car with me to enjoy the view. Seeing a choo-choo for him inspires the same awe that you or I might feel upon encountering an angel.

I have discovered another little secret, too: little boys LOVE, LOVE, LOVE their mamas like nothing else in this world. Once, when I had a sore throat, he took me by the hand and led me to the couch, telling me “Mama, come lay down.” He went and got his Boo-Boo Bunny and applied it tenderly to my throat.

Never did I dream that my all-boy son would have a sweetness about him that allowed him to be concerned with other people’s feelings. Often during the day he will stop playing to look up at me and inquire, “Momma, you happy?” Or he will suddenly come running for a spontaneous hug and then whisper into my ear, “Momma, I like you.”

Whenever we take a walk, he is on the lookout for flowers for me. Today he picked a tiny bunch of wild asters and two sunflowers and brought them to me, saying, “Here, Mama. Flowers for you. Make Mommy happy.”

I look at my beautiful boy and think yes, you’re right. Make Mommy happy. Happier than any Easy-Bake oven or glitter nail polish ever could.

Update: Ten years after this piece was written, my sweet boy, now almost a teenager, still tells me he loves me every day even though he now has his first girlfriend. Fingers crossed he will continue to talk to me!

Update 2: My son requested that I update this post to let you know that he is once again single and not currently looking for a relationship.

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Comments on: "In Praise of Boys" (8)

  1. Anita Liskey said:

    As a mother of two, I have to say that I can relate to all you’ve written here – except the part about really wanting a girl. I always knew I wanted boys. Maybe it is because my mom used to curse me with the oft-repeated phrase, “I hope one day you have a daughter just like you…” Or maybe it is because boys are simply huge fun. They do run. But tell me that isn’t more fun then sitting and playing with Barbie – who, let’s face it ladies, doesn’t have much to offer other than fancy clothes and unattainable body. Without a doubt, my boys have taught me to see the world from a different viewpoint. Everything is an adventure. And frankly, everything is better from that angle.

  2. elainegantzwright said:

    As the mother of two boys, I am here to tell you that the metamorphosis doesn’t happen until about 13. My once sweet cuddler would not even let me get out of the car when dropping him off for his first day of eighth grade. They become familiar aliens. Grunting it the best I hope for — just sent my oldest (18) to college. I have to say I was a relief. I miss him, but it has been a challenging adolescence. They say we give them roots and wings, but I’m thinking it’s all about the “bark” when they hit the world of texting, headphones, and hormones. Good luck!

  3. Not me, girl ALLLLL the way! Cars, dirt, and boring clothes would drive me BONKERS!! And girls tell their mamas they love them every day, too. And she STILL picks flowers for me, and sang a song and put it on my voice mail for my birthday…now, what boy does THAT? And sparkly nail polish just rocks 🙂

    And then there is that old wise saying, about “a girl is your girl for all of her life, a boy is your boy until he takes a wife”. Yep, because then it’s all about what the wife wants, and her family first, naturally. As women ourselves we KNOW that is true!

    However, I must say, if I HAD to have a boy, it would be Alec 🙂 He’s exceptional, IMHO!

    Hey, girlfriend? He has a girlfriend? since when??? Oh my goodness, lucky lucky girl!!

    • Well, tonight he took his gorgeous Brazilian “girl FRIEND” to the movies and paid for her ticket, then she bought the fajitas at Chili’s. He came home in a VERY good mood!

  4. Alissa Butler said:

    This article made my heart smile!

  5. Boys and girls both have their charms, no doubt about it. I like the “No Drama” that boys bring to the table; at least so far!

    And yes, Char, he’s actually on Girlfriend No. 2: he had Girlfriend No. 1 this summer but he broke up with her because he told her he “missed being single.”

    He has a million girl FRIENDS. That kid has been a ladies’ man since he was 3 and he gave a 19-year-old hostess in New Orleans his phone number “just in case she ever came to Texas!” LOL

  6. Missed being single? LOL, that cracks me up!!

    Taylor says the boys have “potential”, but so far just “friend” worthy. Well, they do mature a bit later than the girls, but really, not one beyond “potential” material yet?

    Hmm. Well, I suppose I should be grateful, and hope that assessment lasts until she is 30 😉

  7. It’s like you wrote this about my little boy–I never knew I’d have so much fun with him. He BETTER tell me he loves me when he’s a teen!

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